This is the second part I wish to develop. After explanations on the right price of a wedding photographer, let's get into the subject of the organisation - great stress for lots of future brides and grooms who want this day perfect, and we can understand it as it's usually once in a life.
But there all variation of weddings, and yours must correspond to your expectations.
A third and last information letter is available, concerning practical questions, sharing with you experiences and fun happened through the years... the wedding saga.. practical questions.
I am going to try to give some tools to help you to see a bit more clearly and help you to make this day a success. You will find in the following few experiences lived by my married couples all along my years of practice, some littles problems more or less annoying, that this few lines will allow you, I hope, to avoid.
1 - The right questions :
What sort of wedding do you want ? Intimist or fastuous ?
Of course, an intismist wedding, with few guests will be easier to organise than a great wedding, which will request a important budget, a bigger reception room, which will certainly need to be booked a long time before the wedding. It's easier to get married out of summer season, and you often have the opportunity to get best prices with with some professionals. You must know that some of them keep their disponibility during the high season for "big" prestations.
What's your budget ?
Here too, this criterion will be decisive for the future. It is obvious that a tight budget will limit you in number of guests and choice of room in particular. But also on the duration of intervention and the options offered by the different providers (photographer, videographer, DJ, florist...)
Why are you getting married for ?
Well, it’s not such a stupid question, you get married because you love each other, fortunately! But beyond this reason? Is it just a simple formalization after X years of common life, or on the contrary you want to share with your family and friends this stage of your union, and make a incredible day? Which brings you back to the first question, they are linked and will condition the spirit you want to give to this day.
How to choose the date of your wedding ?
It’s up to you to establish the criteria: according to the season, the holidays, the availability of your most important guests, or a date that is important to you. A wedding in summer will generally guarantee beautiful weather and heat, sometimes too much, and longer days... a late season can allow you to have beautiful sunsets or autumn foliage, spring will be greener and flowery, the temperature milder - but the risk of rain is to be considered more carefully.
2 - The place of reception :
This is the first step once you have answered the questions above. Indeed, some rooms are booked more than a year before, and if you have a crush for a particular room, you will have to do it very early.
Choose your room (party room, large domain or restaurant, separate caterer or all-inclusive formula).
If you choose the all-inclusive domain and caterer solution, it is obvious that it will be easier for you. You entrust them with the whole job, it will remain for you to establish the plan of the tables, decorate the room... and they manage the timing of the evening in correlation with the DJ so that everyone can have fun, enjoy and that the evening unfolds smoothly for all.
You also have the solution to dissociate the rental of the room and a caterer of your choice, which is a frequent choice. In this case as well, caterer and the DJ who will consult each other to organise pleasantly the evening.
If by choice or budget restriction, you opt for a party room or a marquee, a bare field and an autonomous organization (caterer who delivers and lets you manage the service, or even do everything yourself), you have to be careful on one hand about the workload that it will require for you, but also to be aware that you will remain vigilant all evening to supervise things. It is necessary to remain well structured so that everything goes well, that the cake is not served too late and that the guests leave at the end of the dessert without having danced and get fun. With this organisation, you must establish in advance the course of the evening, study it with the providers present (DJ, photographer, videographer...) who will have more experience than you and let them guide you. Do not hesitate to delegate to your loved ones.
Whatever solution you chose, it is important to have the possibility to get inside in case of rain.
3 - The guests :
We know the problem, it is often quite delicate, as far as the family is concerned - if you invite uncle Mark, it risks to put tensions with uncle Trevor... I tend to think that it is up to you to decide who you invite and put cards on the table right away, asking the possible protagonists to bury the hatchet for that day and just be there for you. Because you love them all and don’t want to make Cornelian choices. Maybe it’s even an opportunity to take a fresh start, who knows?
I note that in general, when there is tension, the guests make efforts and everything goes well. Since the time I do weddings, I have very rarely seen big worries arise because of guests.
Anyway, be sure of the people you invite, especially among friends. I have already seen married couples with several paid meals and guests fail them. Which is very unpleasant and will hurt you one day you just want to enjoy and be happy !
4 - Providers :
Each professional is important, you have to choose them well, for their skills of course, but it is also important that the contact passes between you and that you have reciprocal trust.
In general, and it prevails for all, be careful to be in contact with professionals, who are required to provide you with a quote, a contract, ask you to pay a deposit to permanently block the date. It would be terrible, if at the last minute, a provider does not come and nothing had been stipulated in writing. This would be a huge and totally unnecessary source of stress.
Prefer word of mouth (the experience of others is a good guarantee of reliability), or providers you already know and in which you have total confidence. The first selected providers can also guide you. Otherwise, Google reviews and a good search will tease you but will require more time. In any case, select a maximum of 3 or 4 per trade, otherwise it may be complicated to make a choice. It is better to refine well at the beginning and start on a panel of safe values.
In priority, it is better to conclude with the place of reception (depending on the place up to two years before the D-Day), the caterer and the clothing shop. Once these providers are found, take care of others, you will be more serene. Whatever the trade, the sooner you stop the dates with them, the better.
The reception room mentioned earlier. The possibility of indoor withdrawal is a point to raise. We must also take into account the geographical situation and its constraints. Depending on the location, the decibels are limited and the music must be stopped early. Do they have a pleasure garden in which you could take pictures of groups and couples if necessary? This would limit travel and risk getting lost for guests. It would also reduce stress. Check if they have a place to do a secular ceremony if that’s what you want. And silly as it may seem, parking facilities.
The caterer whether or not dissociated from the room. Group tastings with future customers are usually planned, which will give you an overview of their work. If the caterer is used to intervene on your place of reception, it is a plus because he will know the operation, the location of the tools he will need and the possible technical constraints, the distance between the kitchen and the place where the guests will be (which may require a specific organization). It will also be important to see who is responsible for the supply of dishes, tablecloths, chair covers... The hours of services, the quantities provided per person (number of petits fours per person...) and what is provided for alcohol supplements in particular. If you want to bring your wine, this is also a point to see with the caterer - do they accept, do they ask for a cork right?
Wedding dress/ costume shop: This is a point that must also be planned well in advance. First, you will have to find THE dress of your dreams, THE costume for Mister - even if in general it remains simpler. We must take into account the supply time of the outfits, fittings, alterations, fittings again before leaving with your beautiful clothes. If you are in the phase of weight loss for marriage, especially, talk about it so that they advise you wisely. Same if you are pregnant...
The photographer : Ah! That’s my job, I can talk better about it. Already, look at the sites of different photographers to see what style suits you, it is the first criterion in my opinion, before the price. Of course, the latter is important. However, keep in mind that what will remain of this day will be the photos, the video, the outfits. The rest will be like Cinderella’s shoe, past midnight, at the lastest in the early morning, there will be nothing left. The meal, digested, the DJ will have disappeared, the flowers will fade... So choose the photographer with whom you will feel good, and who provides a job that pleases you. In addition to that, I invite you to take care of certain details, such as the material used, if we offer you the retouching of images, the choice of books, digital files... if the photographer has his duplicate material in case of problem - with a double direct backup in the camera (I think most professional cameras now offer it). Ask if he can offer you flexibility in its services, you are not obliged to be followed from the preparations to the cakeif you don't want it.
The videographer: Same recommendations as for the photographer. If the photographer and the videographer know each other and we are used to working together, it may be a plus, but when it is not the case, personally, I ask for his contact details and call him before to get acquainted and make a point not to be bothered throughout the day, the needs are not the same. These are two professions that will gravitate together and are complementary. The DJ : It’s a must-have for your party. A good DJ will make all the difference since he is in charge of the atmosphere. In addition to his professional qualities, make sure he also has duplicate equipment and can ensure the evening at all costs in case of technical problem. Often DJs will also offer you the lights, the smoke machine, the soap machine. You have to see with them the options offered. A portable speaker with a microphone may be a plus for group photos, planned speeches...
The hairdresser : it is essential to try before the D date. Not only must the hairstyle please you, but it must also hold well. I had this year the experience with one of my brides, who has a lot of trouble with her image and who thought that that day, she would be beautiful. Except that there was a strong windy day and the hair did not hold. It was a terrible experience and I was sick for her. So for information, a hairdresser will put you a lot of invisible clips in the hair to hold the hairstyle, will lacquer a lot too. Do not hesitate to shake your head to see if the hairstyle holds well. You must trust your provider. I tend to recommend hairdressers and makeup artists at home. To avoid the stress of traveling, you are on the same placefor everything and just have to eat a piece and put your dress then, but it is of course not an obligation!
The makeup artist : Same as for the hairdresser. Make-up must please you, must correspond to you. The makeup artist must be able to make you up according to your face morphology, the shape of your eyes, your mouth... know how to highlight you, use quality products that will hold during the day. Try it too, see how it feels on your skin. For having seen it, watch the cleanliness of the utensils of the professional, and, I may make you laugh, but the elegance of her nails, which can be seen in the photos and which sometimes put the photographer in embarrassment because not presentable.
The florist : A beautiful bridal bouquet is important. it will appear on many photos. Look at the different florists that we recommend, or select it according to the geographical location of the room to find what suits you. Everyone has his "paw". Florists will be able to offer you as well the bouquet for the bride, the bouquet of the Virgin (in Provence), boutonnieres for the groom and witnesses men, bracelets or small bouquets for witnesses girls, bridesmaids, flowers for the car, for the religious or secular ceremony, an ark, flowers for the hall. Their intervention panel is generally quite broad. The important thing again is to find a reliable provider, who knows how to understand your needs and guide you for a beautiful rendering.
Secular ceremony officiant: If you choose this type of ceremony, it is often wiser to use a professional rather than organizing it internally. It will avoid certain pitfalls that can affect the beauty and emotion that is expected from such a ceremony. But I will detail this point a little later. A secular officiant, more than any other, must be close to you, he must be on the same wavelength, know how to make the assembly laugh, cry, move, personalizing his speech in relation to your relationship.
5 - Choosing your witnesses :
That is an important point. From a strictly legal point of view, witnesses, at least one per person, maximum two, must be of legal age and will sign the civil registry at the town hall. In the Church, or during a secular ceremony, they can be more numerous. But it is essential to choose them well. Favor very close people (family or friends), whom you have known for a long time and who will take their role to heart. It would be a shame to lose sight of or get to trouble with yout wedding witness.
6 - Religious ou secular ceremony :
Religious ceremony : you have two options (for Catholics - I won’t go into other celebrations I don’t know about). A blessing will last about 45 minutes, and for those who are very fervent, it is possible to make a complete mass. It’s a ceremony that’s going to take about an hour and a half. It depends of your faith and the one of your guests. It should be noted that in both cases it is necessary to plan a preparation with a priest of about one year in general, that at least one of the two married is baptized and that neither has made a previous religious marriage (to be checked with the priest of your parish).
The secular ceremony : As its name suggests, it has no religious character. It is often done outdoors, is focused on the life of the bride and groom, their meeting, their history. The goal is, for those who do not want or cannot marry in the Church, to have a ceremony that is a more intense complement emotionally than the official celebration of the wedding at the town hall, which will last about twenty minutes. You can ask the help of a secular ceremony officiant, who is there to really personalize and make this moment unique, moving, fun, interesting. However, if you want to do your ceremony internally, you really have to pay attention to certain details. From an organizational point of view, think to put the bride and groom in evidence (if there is an ark, they will be in the ark - it is not for the officiant nor for the microphones - you find that funny, it really happened to me once, I had to ask to modify everything, there was not even chairs for the bride and groom ! A pretty desk and paper support - you have to think about the photos, an horrible folder will appear on the pictures. You really have to personalize this ceremony and not let talk too many people on the microphone. It should not last more than half an hour and remain dynamic, avoid redundancies. Then see what ritual you want to put in place. In the most cases, you have the mixture of sands of different colors, the repotting of an olive tree, the ribbons that bind you, the exchange of wedding rings of course, the painting of a canvas. But this will be the subject of a future article.
7 - Wedding and stationery announcement :
Either you choose to make them yourself online, there are plenty of websites that offer very nice models, or you entrust the design to a provider. Personally, I propose a mini-photo session and the realization of the announcement from these images.
In addition to the invitations, you should also think about the menu cards, the names on the tables, the table plan, the mass book, the guestbook, the thank you card after the wedding if you wish.
8 - The outfits of the bride and groom and guests :
We saw the bride and groom’s outfits above. However, remember to put your shoes before the wedding to avoid sore feet, also think of plasters in case of need, and remove the labels under the shoes... Also remember to bring a pair of comfortable spare shoes for the evening. Oh, I forgot: remember to check that you have a right shoe and a left shoe at the right size. And before the wedding day. It happened to me! (I think I’ll do an article one day on the pearls of weddings).
For the guests, either everyone dresses as he like (specify all the same to provide a dressed outfit, it happens surprises sometimes), either you give a color code, shoes code (a wedding in flip flops, it is original!). A steampunk code, you’ll see, the guests will compete with ingenious ideas. You can do whatever you want, you can be original if if please you !
9 - The theme :
It’s up to you to decide if you want to give a theme to your wedding. There is no obligation and again, it must look like you. But if you want to give a specific atmosphere, whether rural, related to your honeymoon in the islands, related to music, with a job, only your imagination can restrain you. However, you have to think about the decoration, everything must be coherent. Think about the colors of the flowers if necessary. Depending on the chosen theme, do not hesitate to hunt in the garage sales or search on the net for second-hand objects that could suit you and limit the budget.
10 - Gift or travel ?
It’s up to you! You are a young couple who will settle down and needs a lot of furniture elements or on the contrary you already have everything you need? It is possible to make a prize pool in a travel agency and in some shops, it is also possible for the photo part with Valphotovar!
11 - The planning of the organization :
The easiest way not to forget anything is to check as you go. Feel free to download the document on the following link: Wedding organization schredule Valphotovar
12 - The organization on de D Date :
For this part, it is wise to see the timing of the day with the providers. You will have done the hairstyle and make-up tests - depending on the time of the town hall (if it is a wedding with a religious or secular ceremony, it is better to plan the town hall as soon as possible to have time to do everything serenely afterward), they will be able to tell you when to start preparations. The photographer will settle on it and will see with you the organization of the following of the day (couple photos if there are done on the D-day, photos of groups etc...) the caterer and the DJ will take care of the evening. At this time, everything is ready, let yourself go on serenely, enjoy your day, it will go very fast!
13 - And after? Prolong the festivities?
If you have guests staying to sleep on site, and coming from far away, why not a organize a brunch, a pleasant Sunday to continue in relaxation mode the party, share one more day without any constraint?
